So over the next two weeks I have two Chemistry Controlled Assessments, one Biology, one Italian, two driving lessons, an applicant day hundreds of miles away and absolutely no money. Needless to say I’m stressed.
On the one hand, having so many important things in such a short time span is one of the most daunting challenges I’ve faced in a long time, but on the other, I can say I’m learning to cope.
I’m learning to prioritise properly, to work efficiently, and to gain control when I’m feeling out of my depth. If you’d asked me this question a year ago, I’d have told you that I was coping, everything was fine and I was managing perfectly well, basically I’d have lied. Behind closed doors I’d engage in self-destructive behaviours, procrastinate and hope I’d pull it off in the end. Now I can safely say: ”it’s hard, I’m struggling, but I’m working my way through it and I’m moving forward.”
So what’s changed? Is it me simply getting older and wiser? Is it a result of becoming more self aware and learning about myself? Or is it because these challenges are bumps on a road that I chose to follow? My Controlled Assessments are vital to my A level grades, my A levels will get me to university where I can study midwifery, and it will be incredibly useful if I can drive. I guess I feel that although I’m not controlling every aspect of my life right now, these are challenges that I need to overcome in order to get where I want, so I’ll be damned if I let them get the best of me! Hopefully it will all calm down soon, but until then, here’s to doing my best! š
A life with PCOS; the ups, the downs and the awkward mood swings. 